Circles

We recently decided to move to Asia. For me, it's a move back. More than twenty years ago, my family made the move to America. Now I'm taking my family back. Full circle. My son must be used to moving by now - he's moved 3 times in his young life, already one of them international. My daughter has moved only once but then she probably doesn't realize it.
Years ago, when hubby and I got together, we sort of thought the world would be our oyster. We semi-seriously said we would spend five years each in Europe, America and Asia. So we tested our relationship in Europe, and sealed our partnership there. Almost five years later, we made it to Florida with our son, my turn to be with family. I was thrilled to be back home. This is our fourth year here. Just enough time to get over the horrors of the last international move (plus we moved to our current house just over a year ago). We will be applying some lessons learned, indeed.
In many ways, this would be a harder move. I feel like I'm abandoning my family yet again. But my family has always been supportive of my adventures, and that made it possible for me to flex my wings. I know that I am especially blessed. There is no better time than now, really, while we are still young enough to be attractive in the job market. Yet I know nothing about living and working in Asia, having left in my early teens. Other than the employment situation, we are most concerned with schooling and childcare. We were all ready for my son to start kindergarten here in the fall. Now we're doing research all over again. We're glad to have contacts there who will get us started. And thank heavens for the internet!
It feels like the right thing to do for us and the kids. Schooling is of high standards there. Unemployment is low and the economy seems to be growing. And food is good, a major plus for me. Just have to deal with heat and humidity all year round, and lots more people. Since it is after all the mother land, I hope my family will visit. A new adventure awaits!

Health

We are on a carb-free diet. It's my second time, and I can see cutting carbs long term, at least for the evening meals, or just having stuff once a week like we are doing now. Not to say it isn't difficult, because I do sometimes want to snatch the goldfish crackers from the kids, but the numbers on the scale can be very rewarding. It's awful because I really like immediate results when it comes to exercise and weight loss. I have no patience at all. I want to exercise today and see less pounds tomorrow, which isn't realistic. Especially when I tend to reward myself with little treats after exercising. As the pounds drop when I avoid fast carbs, they come back the day after our cheat day. However, it seems at times sufficient to have just meats and slow carbs - veggies. I feel satisfied as long as I don't glimpse warm bread or chocolate, or sometimes a slice of apple (pie and ice cream :).
Finally went for that overdue annual woman's exam. Sheesh, I have a hard time with those - tense up like a log. And the doctor orders a blood test, which I don't deal well with either. The worry is always worse than the actual event. You would think after two kids these things would be a breeze. Good news is that all seems well. Doctor said that I don't have to worry much about family history of heart disease when I don't smoke and hardly drink. She pronounced me very boring medically, which is a good thing. I hate to tell her, but I'm probably very boring on the whole...

Fears

Got back from a visit to Virginia - skipped a week and tempted to let it go this week too. But this is part of the exercise to regain structure, routine...
So it was my first time traveling with both kids alone. Trip went better than expected. Boy is getting more independent each day. He insists on using the men's room rather than the ladies' (with me). I agree to let him wait outside the toilets, each time forgetting to check if he knows not to go with any strangers. I finally had that talk with him - what if a stranger asks to take him to his mom, gives him goodies, etc, to never go with. This morning on the radio, there was talk of a boy taken and murdered. He was 8? and for the first time allowed to walk home on his own, or something like that. Hubby often refers to his childhood of running around the neighborhood with other kids. This doesn't seem to happen in the US anymore. When does one allow the kids to venture out on their own? Heck, not so long ago, a driver under influence mowed down some kids on a neighborhood sidewalk! Hubby likes to quote statistics - that only so many kids get abducted and it should be generally safe to let kids out (we have yet to decide on the age). Yet it's tempting to never let them go, refuse to become a statistic. I know we cannot protect our kids from everything, but at times go into hyper-worry. Can't even watch programs with kid crimes anymore, real or fiction.
So how to deal with this as the kids age and want more independence? I suppose one breath at a time...

Screams

I'm bad with bugs. Last night, a roach surprised me from the recycling bin and I screamed bloody murder at 11pm. Good thing the kids are deep sleepers. Hubby thought we had an intruder - we actually had two (roaches) and he had to take care of them. That is one of his responsibilities.
My boy caught my girl's fingers on the car door today as he closed it. Screams again, from mom (as I extricated fingers from door) and daughter. She is usually already upset by being dropped off (wonder when that'll settle?). Felt extra bad to leave her, even if her fingers were fine. Spoke to someone today who has been home with her youngest, who is 4. Again agonize over my decision to do differently. Yesterday the girl wanted to just sit in my lap after she got home. She is a good cuddler...
Have been screaming internally when stepping on the scale lately. The pounds just keep coming. The problem is that I like good food but am not a big exercise fan. And age does a number on your metabolism. I'm not good on the Wii exercise platforms. Hubby has a gym setup in the garage but it is HOT in there. So I will continue with the Zumba/yoga and hope for the best.
Zumba instructor today advised that when eating burgers, leave the bun if you want fries. Or leave the fries if you want the bun. And at happy hour, vodka and diet coke instead of margarita/daiquiri/pina colada. Think that'll work for you?

What's there to complain about?

Really, I have nothing to complain about. I am happily married, with two adorable (most of the time) kids. We are comfortable economically, at least until the euro/dollar busts, inflation rears its ugly head, or a dozen other scenarios where the economy crumbles. Or if we can't get work.
I stopped working earlier this year, to focus on family for a while. My son starts kindergarten in the fall, and we had to learn how the whole thing works - schools, applications, enrollment. After some research and musing, we decided to stick with the assigned public school and review from there. It's a little crazy to agonize over kindergarten, no?
My daughter started daycare a month ago, and this past weekend had her first fever since. Curiously, she handled it all well and just rested. My son came down with a fever a day after and moaned through it all. He puked, had diarrhea and nosebleeds. I hate it when the kids are sick - I ping pong between worry and irritation all weekend. I thought I wouldn't worry about my son as much as he is older, but couldn't stop trying to interpret the different symptoms online. As usual, hubby is the level-headed one and got us through it all. Happy Father's Day, love - we'll make it up to you!
Which brings me to - what now? Everyone's pretty sorted for the fall, which is when I hope to work again. I left a field in which I have worked for the past 10+ years. It was something I lucked into and did well in. I could continue doing it...what else is there? Where I don't have to start from scratch? I admire people who have dreams and/or enjoy their work. I knew I wanted an income, and what I didn't want to do. And here I am, with the opportunity to find something I really like to do, and I don't know what that is. The good thing is that I am getting time to explore zumba, yoga, and other things I haven't had time for.
I want time for family, but not all the time. The kids are growing more independent day by day, and I don't want the challenge of re-entering the workforce after a long absence. Hubby says to just enjoy the sabbatical until it's time to get back into the game. The consummate worrier that I am, I'm already obsessing over what's next.
The yoga instructor today suggested that we thank our inner critic for stopping us from making mistakes, but to also remember that we don't have to be perfect, to try new things. Perhaps I can apply this lesson.